Sarah Myles

A Londoner, living in the North of England with my husband and two young children. I am a 30-something Freelance Writer and lead a busy, busy life. Oh, and I also have Borderline Personality Disorder.

On Twitter as @sjmyles.

Email: [email protected].

Parenting for Mental Health – Start Ending Stigma

It is a parent’s natural instinct to protect their children. We want them to have a carefree childhood, where they are free to wonder at beauty, enjoy the world around them and develop in their own unique, awesome way. We want to keep them...

15th March 2013

Tolerating Mysterious Behaviours in BPD

I am becoming frustrated with my understanding of my Borderline Personality Disorder. I am a huge advocate of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy as a means of learning about, and managing BPD on a daily basis. I have spent...

12th March 2013

Spontaneity Is Overrated

I recently had a conversation in which the other person observed that I rarely arrange impromptu activities. My response was: "Well, I’m not an impromptu person." Everyone is different, after all. This conversation stayed with...

4th March 2013

Why Honest Friendships Are Vital in BPD

I was with a very close friend, and we had been chatting away happily for a couple of hours. I just finished sharing an anecdote about binging on a bucket of chocolate cake and custard when my friend looked me in the eye and stated “I always...

7th February 2013

New Year Divisions - Observations on Attitudes Toward Change.

***This post represents a broad generalisation of observations, based on my personal social media feeds over the New Year period*** During the New Year period, my social media feeds seemed to be split between those inclined toward statements of...

2nd January 2013

The Keyring: A BPD Management System

In the early days of my treatment, when I was newly diagnosed and having weekly visits from a Community Psychiatric Nurse, she asked my husband to attend a couple of our sessions. This was invaluable for all involved. As experienced as my husband...

28th December 2012

Self-Sufficiency: The Ultimate BPD Coping Mechanism

My CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) once asked “How do you think it makes people feel – that you have to be entirely self-sufficient, but you need them to need you?” This question has stayed with me for over two years –...

4th December 2012

OCD Flare-up

I am struggling to control my OCD this week. My rational mind immediately seeks to discover the cause of this flare-up, knowing that in doing so, the spiral can be slowed and switched back with the application of cognitive and dialectical behaviour...

31st October 2012

Self-sabotage.

Excuses, excuses. As an adult, I’ve always made excuses for why I’m just not getting it done. Firstly, I was busy starting a family. Then, I had babies at home. Then I was busy with Pre-school runs and charity work. Now, my youngest has...

24th September 2012

Acceptance.

I have been pondering the word ‘acceptance’. It’s a word we hear it a lot in mental health discussion, and the more I think about it, the more I think it may just be the key to everything. Not just in mental health, but in the...

13th September 2012

Stigma - The Coping Mechanism of Society.

Our society has a mental illness. Somewhere in the world, someone commits a heinous, horrific crime. It hits the media. Predictably, often before the culprit has even seen a doctor, assumptions are made about their mental health. Medical terminology...

24th August 2012

BPD: Self-Esteem and Self-Understanding

My psychologist once correctly highlighted to me that my self-esteem (such as it was) was entirely defined by what I could do for other people, and what their judgement of me was in response. My reply, at the time, was “What else would I base...

23rd August 2012

A Proud Optimist - The Positive Application of a Coping Strategy.

People often refer to “the mask” of mental illness – that fixed smile I put in place before I leave the house. That expression that leads everyone to say, “You have a mental illness? I had no idea! You always look so cheerful...

19th August 2012

BPD, The NHS and The Olympic Spirit.

Those that have read my blog before will know that I have BPD, and struggle with emotional dysregulation. When I experience an emotion, it is extreme. So when historic, national events occur, I’m a sitting duck. Yes, I’m completely...

7th August 2012

Dealing With Diagnosis

Why do I refer to myself as someone that has Borderline Personality Disorder? Well, because it is a fact. Not everybody approves of my choice, however. For me now, it is no different than my Mother stating that she suffers from arthritis, or my...

19th May 2012

BPD User Error - Your System Will Shut Down.

So, there I was, feeling all confident in my understanding of my illness and experience – damping down my symptoms as and when they flared up, like some kind of BPD ninja. Then came a bad news phone-call. I’ve received a number of these...

7th May 2012

Tool Kits For Kids (CBT techniques for common childhood concerns) - A User Review

As a parent, I am highly sensitive to the emotional development and wellbeing of my children. My own treatment for my mental health problems has taught me the value of early intervention, and of learning the right skills at an early age. I am also...

15th March 2012

The NHS and I

During the course of my life, I have used the NHS a lot. From teenage to my early 20s in London, I received great care from hospitals and GPs alike for both chronic knee and stomach problems. In my mid-20s in London, I had my first child. With the...

14th March 2012

Dear BPD - A Letter to The Devil On My Shoulder.

Dear BPD, I hate you. You sneak around in the background, lurking in the shadows. Then you rush out at me, screaming, and make so much noise I just can’t think. You wear so many different masks and disguises, I never know what to look...

24th February 2012

The Importance of Being Empathic - The Minefield of Sharing your Mental Health Story With Friends.

It is human nature to try to identify with people in order to bring them, and ourselves, comfort. Walk into any child health clinic on baby weigh-in day, and you will overhear countless groups of women comparing birth stories. They are not trying...

19th February 2012

Language and Stigma

In recent years, I have become increasingly aware of the power of language, and that the choices we make in the words we use every day carry enormous impact. Maybe it’s because I have children, maybe it’s because I am sensitive to...

11th February 2012

Talking Therapies and BPD

I am a big advocate of talking therapies as a treatment for BPD. My experience of talking therapies began in London, with a counsellor and a course of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), aimed at bringing my OCD and anxiety back under control....

4th February 2012

OCD and The School Run: The Daily Battle.

I loathe the school run. First, it is my responsibility to make sure my children have with them everything they need for the day. In true, BPD, dichotomous fashion, I simultaneously dread and need this responsibility. If I get it wrong, my child...

30th January 2012

Body Image: It's All Commercial Brainwashing...

Is there anyone in the world with a healthy body image? Is there anyone that is truly and honestly fine, content and accepting of every aspect of their physical appearance? I’ve certainly never met them – and I’m talking about men...

12th January 2012

The Effect of Violent Crime on Mental Illness - The Stephen Lawrence Murder

I am from Eltham in South East London. You may have heard of it - it's been in the news lately. I feel the urge to write about it, because it has prompted reflection on my first awareness of my OCD and Emotional Dysregulation, at...

3rd January 2012

Emotional Dysregulation in BPD

As a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder, I am hyper-sensitive to the emotional health of my children. This in itself can cause a problem, as it sometimes leads me to over-compensate. The trick, as with everything in BPD, to find...

2nd January 2012

Motherhood and My Mental Health Journey.

My youngest child celebrating his fourth birthday has put me in reflective mood. "Someone once said, motherhood is a series of losses". So said the Health Visitor who had stopped by to chat. It was early spring 2005 in London, ...

8th December 2011

Depression, Suicide and Stigma

The apparent suicide of a public figure, while incredibly sad, brings mental health stigma into sharp focus. The media exploded with speculation and debate about mental health issues and suicide at the weekend. The immediate, emotional reactions to...

28th November 2011

My BPD Anxiety Snapshot - A Tale of Two Minds.

I am in the grip of anxiety. It's my own fault. The trouble with this Borderline stuff is that I can always be relied upon to come up with the biggest, most grandiose solution to a problem. And then I'll loathe myself for it. Putting my...

22nd November 2011

Anti-Bullying Week

Twitter was buzzing with tweets about bullying on Monday, as Bullying UK (the national anti-bullying support and advice organisation) kicked off Anti-Bullying Week with a variety of Twitter discussions. Asking questions, such as...

15th November 2011

My First Blog, My Next Step.

OK, here goes... I have always loved to write, and have done so for many years. Not professionally, but for my own enjoyment. I suppose I found it therapeutic. Over an extended period of time, the writing stopped flowing. My mental health (...

12th November 2011