Parenting for Mental Health – Start Ending Stigma

by Sarah Myles

It is a parent’s natural instinct to protect their children. We want them to have a carefree childhood, where they are free to wonder at beauty, enjoy the world around them and develop in their own unique, awesome way. We want to keep them from harm, negativity and the dark side in general. We want them to feel safe.

As a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder, I don’t want them to have to worry about mood swings, depression, mania, paranoia, control and excessive hand-washing. As their parent, it is my natural instinct to try to hide all that from them and pretend that I don’t have a mental illness at all. At the same time, I don’t want them to grow up to have BPD, and I don’t want them to grow up adding to the stigma surrounding mental illness.

So, let’s compare these contradictory parenting desires. Any attempt to hide my illness from my children is firstly, futile, and secondly, really for my benefit, not theirs. It only makes me feel better to think that I am projecting strength and stability to them, while in reality they are left to wonder why Mummy is washing her hands for the millionth time while struggling to not bounce off the walls with extreme emotional states. On the other hand, with so little concrete medical evidence to hand, is it really going to be possible to prevent my children developing BPD? How can I teach them not to stigmatise mental illness, if I am simultaneously trying to hide my own disorder from them?

The answers, as always, lie in the middle ground, and we find them by being honest. Honesty is what our children deserve, and we can’t teach them anything without it. It helps them understand us, themselves and the world around them. It’s not easy, because it goes entirely against those basic natural instincts, but it allows you to accept yourself, and promotes acceptance in the space you live in. It also teaches the valuable lesson that 'strength' and 'stability' are not comprised solely of stoicism and a stiff upper-lip. It can also be the acceptance and acknowledgement of what is, and the work that is needed to improve.

After I had begun treatment, I sat down with my eldest child – who was five years old at the time – and asked him if he had noticed that Mummy was poorly. He said that he had, but didn’t know what was wrong. I explained to him that my brain wasn’t working very well – that sometimes, it gets full of all sorts of things, and then it all goes a bit wonky. Sometimes it makes me very loud, and sometimes it makes me very quiet. But, I explained, the important thing was that some very nice doctors were helping me learn how to fix my own brain when it starts going wonky again. He was happy with that.

That conversation achieved three things: Firstly, for him, it made the unknown known, which is then not scary at all. Secondly, it let him know that sometimes, people’s brains don’t work properly, and that’s OK – nobody is perfect and everybody has bad days. Thirdly, it let him know that sometimes, my brain doesn’t work properly, and that’s OK too, which took the pressure off me to hide everything from my children at a time when I was trying to recover.

My eldest child is now nearly nine years old, and has, on occasion, displayed quite anxious behaviour. He’s a worrier. That’s his nature. Now, this could well be learned behaviour that he has picked up from me, or there could be genetic factors. Or perhaps, it’s a combination of the two. I’m no expert, so I can’t say for sure. However, having already opened this background communication about our mental and emotional health, it means that, as parents, we have easily been able to provide him with the tools he needs to manage his own anxiety. His anxiety is never dismissed, nor is it indulged. He has the space to acknowledge and express it, and we work through it together, arriving at the appropriate rationalisation. Hopefully, with practice, this rationalisation process will become automatic. We don’t always get it right, but that’s part of the learning process too. The trick is to keep trying. We deal with my anxiety (and that of anyone else in the family) in exactly the same way.

So, what’s my point? My two children live in a space where mental and emotional health are open subjects. It began with that conversation with my eldest, aged five, and my youngest has never known anything different. This openness is their ‘norm’, and this is the attitude they carry with them into the world every day. We came to this approach as a result of my experience and my mental illness, but how different would society look if this were the default setting? If, each and every child were taught that mental and emotional health could be discussed as openly as what was on TV last night? Just as many mental health organisations are now focussing on ending stigma among adults, that message must also be carried through to the very youngest generation, because they will be forming the societies of the future.

I’m not really one for cheesy motivational quotes and sayings, but in this case it really is about being the change you want to see in the world, and leading by example.

Comments

娛樂城
娛樂城
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates. My blog b29 win 2022 (www.doctor-navi.com)
Hi, I do believe this is a great site. I stumbledupon it ;) I am going to come back once again since I saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people. Here is my web page: xem ngay
Hello it's me, I am also visiting this web page regularly, this web page is truly fastidious and the visitors are actually sharing fastidious thoughts. Here is my blog ... b29 win (csszengarden.com)
Thanks , I have just been searching for info about this subject for a long time and yours is the greatest I have discovered so far. However, what concerning the conclusion? Are you positive in regards to the source?
I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before. My homepage: b29 bet (http://csszengarden.com/)
SQ
娛樂城 娛樂城
娛樂城 娛樂城
daftar sbobet
daftar sbobet
Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It's on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Excellent choice of colors! Also visit my blog post ... b29 Win (llm.uniiks.com)
pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login Клиентом Номер Ап соблазняет адаптация пользовательского интерфейса чтобы гостей изо стран СНГ. Меню казино перекинуто сверху шесть стилей, средь которых также русский. pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login
pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login Клиентом Номер Ап соблазняет адаптация пользовательского интерфейса чтобы гостей изо стран СНГ. Меню казино перекинуто сверху шесть стилей, средь которых также русский. pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login pin up casino login
Some sites have built-in referral programs for performers. Find the best premium free porn sites by popularity. Find a couple to enjoy live porn. Interested in performing with a couple? Forget typical standards and get creative - these are real cam girls performing in real time. One in three child abuse images found online are now selfies with girls as young as 11 tricked into performing sex acts via web cam. Elysia’s not alone — a Home Office report found that 74 percent of off-street sex workers cited supporting children and household expenses as the 'prime motivating factor' for their work. The images found in Nader's phones at Dulles International Airport ended up not being the basis for Monday's child-pornography conviction. Do you wanna see horny moms looking for sex on the street and being picked up by MILF hunters? Do you want to see a babe who hasn't even seen a dick in her life being taught by our experienced sex instructors? Do you want to see your nextdoor neighbor getting fucked by hot studs in the taxi?
Thanks for finally talking about > Parenting for Mental Health – Start Ending Stigma | Mental Healthy < Loved it! my web page: B29 bet (www.novalogic.com)
горячая линия или как написать в службу поддержки https://xn----7sbiwaqpds4e7dcf.xn--p1acf/ https://горячая-линия.рус/
горячая линия или как написать в службу поддержки https://xn----7sbiwaqpds4e7dcf.xn--p1acf/ https://горячая-линия.рус/
Hi there! I realize this is kind of off-topic however I had to ask. Does operating a well-established website like yours take a large amount of work? I am brand new to blogging but I do write in my journal everyday. I'd like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou! Also visit my web site :: tai b29 win (https://zzb.bz/)
Hey There. I found your blog the use of msn. That is a really well written article. I'll make sure to bookmark it and come back to learn more of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I will definitely return. Check out my site ... xem ngay
What's up, yeah this paragraph is really good and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging. thanks. Feel free to surf to my website ... b29 club, http://datumconnect.com/ra.asp?url=https://taib29.vin,
I'm gone to convey my little brother, that he should also visit this web site on regular basis to take updated from hottest reports. Visit my site :: click tai
I'm impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that's equally educative and engaging, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. I'm very happy I came across this during my search for something concerning this. my web-site; tải b29 win club [http://www.novalogic.com/remote.asp?NLink=https://taib29.vin]
I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz reply as I'm looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. appreciate it Here is my web site b29 win 2022 - llm.uniiks.com,
I've been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts in this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site. Studying this information So i am happy to express that I have a very good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I such a lot no doubt will make sure to do not forget this website and provides it a look on a continuing basis. Look at my web-site :: B29 bet (jigsaw.w3.org)
My dissertations is a company I can trust with my eyes closed. Tech breaks can be an awesome way to combat the fear of missing out that might strike while you are buried in your work, but they also tend to stretch much longer than originally intended. The Calkins writer s workshop is a great teaching model to use with students. thewriterswebsite.com
My dissertations is a company I can trust with my eyes closed. Tech breaks can be an awesome way to combat the fear of missing out that might strike while you are buried in your work, but they also tend to stretch much longer than originally intended. The Calkins writer s workshop is a great teaching model to use with students. thewriterswebsite.com
excellent post, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector don't realize this. You should proceed your writing. I am sure, you've a great readers' base already! My web-site - b29
This paragraph presents clear idea in favor of the new visitors of blogging, that actually how to do blogging. Have a look at my website trang chu
I have been browsing online more than 3 hours these days, yet I never found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is pretty value sufficient for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content material as you probably did, the internet might be much more helpful than ever before. Feel free to visit my homepage ... b29
I'm impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that's both equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something too few people are speaking intelligently about. Now i'm very happy I came across this in my hunt for something relating to this. My web page: b29 win (http://swepub.kb.se/setattribute;jsessionid=03E3DAE39C096FD6B1FD67A0EFE92DB7?language=en&redirect=https://taib29.vin)
I could not refrain from commenting. Perfectly written! my web page b29 club (http://www.enquetes.com.br/popenquete.asp?id=73145&origem=https://taib29.vin)
I'm gone to convey my little brother, that he should also go to see this webpage on regular basis to obtain updated from most up-to-date news. My homepage b29
After looking at a handful of the articles on your web site, I really appreciate your way of writing a blog. I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my web site too and tell me what you think. my web page b29
Hi there, You've done a fantastic job. I'll definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I'm sure they will be benefited from this web site. My web blog; b29 bet (http://jigsaw.w3.org/css-validator/validator?uri=https%3A%2F%2Ftaib29.vin)
philippines basketball
philippines basketball
For the reason that the admin of this web site is working, no doubt very shortly it will be well-known, due to its quality contents.
You've made some decent points there. I looked on the net to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.
Appreciate this post. Will try it out. Feel free to surf to my site - xem ngay
Hello this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated! Here is my page: tải b29 cho điện thoại (http://www.denwer.ru/)
Eccs raquel raxxx full video denunciable Jurez Better Than Porn Hub poalike Sankhya kimberly kisselovich xxx video Umbro-oscan
Eccs raquel raxxx full video denunciable Jurez Better Than Porn Hub poalike Sankhya kimberly kisselovich xxx video Umbro-oscan
Hello to all, because I am genuinely eager of reading this weblog's post to be updated regularly. It carries pleasant data. Feel free to visit my site :: b29
Hello to all, it's actually a good for me to pay a visit this web site, it contains useful Information. Also visit my site - b29
What i do not understood is in fact how you are no longer actually a lot more neatly-liked than you may be now. You're so intelligent. You recognize thus considerably on the subject of this matter, made me personally believe it from so many numerous angles. Its like men and women aren't involved until it is something to do with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. At all times deal with it up! Look at my web page ... tai b29 win (swepub.kb.se)
Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further write ups thank you once again. Have a look at my page: b29 win cổng game quốc tế (http://www.worldlingo.com/S4698.0/translation?wl_url=https://taib29.vin)
canadian pharmacy cialis canadian pharmacy cialis 20mg canadian pharmacy no prescription healthy man viagra
Outstanding story there. What happened after? Take care! My homepage; b29 (www.encyclopedia.ru)

Post new comment