Parenting for Mental Health – Start Ending Stigma

by Sarah Myles

It is a parent’s natural instinct to protect their children. We want them to have a carefree childhood, where they are free to wonder at beauty, enjoy the world around them and develop in their own unique, awesome way. We want to keep them from harm, negativity and the dark side in general. We want them to feel safe.

As a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder, I don’t want them to have to worry about mood swings, depression, mania, paranoia, control and excessive hand-washing. As their parent, it is my natural instinct to try to hide all that from them and pretend that I don’t have a mental illness at all. At the same time, I don’t want them to grow up to have BPD, and I don’t want them to grow up adding to the stigma surrounding mental illness.

So, let’s compare these contradictory parenting desires. Any attempt to hide my illness from my children is firstly, futile, and secondly, really for my benefit, not theirs. It only makes me feel better to think that I am projecting strength and stability to them, while in reality they are left to wonder why Mummy is washing her hands for the millionth time while struggling to not bounce off the walls with extreme emotional states. On the other hand, with so little concrete medical evidence to hand, is it really going to be possible to prevent my children developing BPD? How can I teach them not to stigmatise mental illness, if I am simultaneously trying to hide my own disorder from them?

The answers, as always, lie in the middle ground, and we find them by being honest. Honesty is what our children deserve, and we can’t teach them anything without it. It helps them understand us, themselves and the world around them. It’s not easy, because it goes entirely against those basic natural instincts, but it allows you to accept yourself, and promotes acceptance in the space you live in. It also teaches the valuable lesson that 'strength' and 'stability' are not comprised solely of stoicism and a stiff upper-lip. It can also be the acceptance and acknowledgement of what is, and the work that is needed to improve.

After I had begun treatment, I sat down with my eldest child – who was five years old at the time – and asked him if he had noticed that Mummy was poorly. He said that he had, but didn’t know what was wrong. I explained to him that my brain wasn’t working very well – that sometimes, it gets full of all sorts of things, and then it all goes a bit wonky. Sometimes it makes me very loud, and sometimes it makes me very quiet. But, I explained, the important thing was that some very nice doctors were helping me learn how to fix my own brain when it starts going wonky again. He was happy with that.

That conversation achieved three things: Firstly, for him, it made the unknown known, which is then not scary at all. Secondly, it let him know that sometimes, people’s brains don’t work properly, and that’s OK – nobody is perfect and everybody has bad days. Thirdly, it let him know that sometimes, my brain doesn’t work properly, and that’s OK too, which took the pressure off me to hide everything from my children at a time when I was trying to recover.

My eldest child is now nearly nine years old, and has, on occasion, displayed quite anxious behaviour. He’s a worrier. That’s his nature. Now, this could well be learned behaviour that he has picked up from me, or there could be genetic factors. Or perhaps, it’s a combination of the two. I’m no expert, so I can’t say for sure. However, having already opened this background communication about our mental and emotional health, it means that, as parents, we have easily been able to provide him with the tools he needs to manage his own anxiety. His anxiety is never dismissed, nor is it indulged. He has the space to acknowledge and express it, and we work through it together, arriving at the appropriate rationalisation. Hopefully, with practice, this rationalisation process will become automatic. We don’t always get it right, but that’s part of the learning process too. The trick is to keep trying. We deal with my anxiety (and that of anyone else in the family) in exactly the same way.

So, what’s my point? My two children live in a space where mental and emotional health are open subjects. It began with that conversation with my eldest, aged five, and my youngest has never known anything different. This openness is their ‘norm’, and this is the attitude they carry with them into the world every day. We came to this approach as a result of my experience and my mental illness, but how different would society look if this were the default setting? If, each and every child were taught that mental and emotional health could be discussed as openly as what was on TV last night? Just as many mental health organisations are now focussing on ending stigma among adults, that message must also be carried through to the very youngest generation, because they will be forming the societies of the future.

I’m not really one for cheesy motivational quotes and sayings, but in this case it really is about being the change you want to see in the world, and leading by example.

Comments

We do not intend to have to jump via unrealistic orr unnecessary hoops either.
Very first, the representativeness of data was secured by studying all tthe adolescents in Korea in 2015.
OLG will hold a Player's monies that are deposited with OLG for purposes of funding the notional balance of a Player Account iin a bank account or escrow account as trstee for the Player .
Hello there I am so excited I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just click for source - https://www.bruederli.com/?s=https%3A%2F%2Fminesofdalarnia-v2.wiki%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D..._Information_No._44_From_240 like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb jo.
Nonetheless,the conplete extent of your autonomy depends on what state you operate and are licensed.
The grant awarded to the DVRS aims to address this cliff by supplying funding for supportive solutions across the state, according to Trotter.
The recent decline in female labor orce participation in the US has received interest in a quantity of recent academic studies.
The combination of added benefits reflects the commitment we make to our core values by supporting our group and their families.
The median income amongst workers in the profession is $77,835 a year, nifely above the $45,860 median earnings across all occupations.
We do not manage these solutions andd are not accountable for their availability, content, or any malware accessed vvia them.
AANP, the Florida Association of Nurse Practitioners and the American Nurses Assocdiation all present employment resources for nurse practitioners.
The culture of teamwork, compassion, and integrity creates a healing and supportive environment for Ochsner nurses and thdir patients.
IOWA CITY, Iowa — The University of Iowa women’s basketball group was selected No. 1 in the Preseason Significant Ten Coaches and Media polls.
Hello there I am so excited I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just click for source - https://www.bruederli.com/?s=https%3A%2F%2Fminesofdalarnia-v2.wiki%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D..._Information_No._44_From_240 like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb jo.
Hello there I am so excited I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just click for source - https://www.bruederli.com/?s=https%3A%2F%2Fminesofdalarnia-v2.wiki%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3D..._Information_No._44_From_240 like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb jo.
Highly descriptive article, I loved that bit. Will there be a part 2? Visit my homepage - continue reading this.. - http://wiki.brushsharp.com/profile.php?user=noe-de%20satg-12852&op=userinfo
I need to to thank you for this fantastic read!! I absolutely loved every little bit of it. I have got you book marked to look at new stuff you post
Players can pick out involving eight tables that run at unique times of the day.
Sports Betting Terms & Glossary A glossary of common tedrms identified in sports betting.
That is why our group spends a couple of days at each sportsbook ahead of submitting their evaluations.
Possibilities abound when it comes to markets as effectively, which includes e-sports and award show futures.
One particular of the selling points right here is the impressive choice of markets.
Our full report breaks down payouts at the largest sports betting internet websites and offers official ratings.
Rather basically, it brings you closer to the action and adds extra meaning to the event.
Its bonuses are also best tier, like these for typical buyers.
Professional bettors care about higher limits, the lowest juice, and receiving bets in efficiently.
Each and every sport has wagers that perform much better or worse for them, though.
All states with legal sports betting have diverse gambling laws.
They offer promotions to support offer more worth to their customers.
Asking questions are truly pleasant thing if you are not understanding something fully, except this paragraph gives nice understanding yet. Also visit myy web-site; best value travel destination in the world, https://wiki.asociace-bezobalu.cz/ - https://wiki.asociace-bezobalu.cz/index.php/U%C5%BEivatel:EdwinaBrazil50 ,
This pattern strategy doesn't assure any large wins but compared to betting systems it keeps players' bankrolls lasting ffor longer.
The dealer relies as much on luck as the players do, so the odds of winning are pretty even.
Join the ultimate rewards system in Miami by going to Viva Club.
If you have spent sufficient time playing the casino games, the operators allow you to avail of some VIP rewards.
It really is about a remote position that certified tech writers from anywhere in the world can apply.
Casino ganes aren’t all you can discover in big land-based venues in the US.
You will get an automatic dispositijon once the position is filled or if you doo not meet the qualifications for thee position.
The Bellagio iis the most well-knowncasino and iis recognized as the greatest casino inn Las Vegas.
Clinical Management Consultants, Inc. announces expanded national coverage for temporary healthcare contract workers at hospitals in response to COVID-19.
Thiis is worth mentioning mainly because there will be times when you’ll have to wait for a reside game to commence.
Would love best places in the world to solo travel - http://www.ginaflood.com/LinkIframe.aspx?userid=91822&link=http%3A%2F%2Fescort-siden.dk%2Fauthor%2Fsherrymcilr%2F perpetually get updated outstanding weblog!
The Korea Casino Association has confirmed tto GGRAsia that South Korea’s casino sector generated first-half gambling money turnover amounting to KRW480.45 billion (US$409.1 million).
Sports betting iss legal and regulated in Kansas, and launches in late 2022.
This incorporates the 11 tribal casinos across the state as nicely as the gaming establishments in Deadwood.
Handicappers sell their observations and guidance to bettors that would like to increase their chances of winning.
In addition, they have a poker rea with anonymous seating for both money games and tournaments alike.
In tournaments like Olympics, the KBO League, aand the Big League Baseball get the most bets on Baseball matches.
The list of on the web betting web sites worth checking out has grown in recent years.
7 days too claim andd stake £10 minimum bet aat odds of 1.five oor higher to qualify.
There are aso live dealers, virtual games, and a fully-fledged horse racibg platform.

Post new comment